Why the moon affects the tide

Once, a long time ago there was a fraternity, it was the greatest fraternity in all the land. They threw the sickest parties and rocked at intramural sports. However, not everything was a chill as it seemed. A rival fraternity had planned the downfall of them. During the religious festival of the Busch Light God, know as Greek Week. The most skilled members of the fraternity competed in a series of games, the most prestigious of which was Beer Pong. Two of the members of the Great Fraternity were selected to represent their house, Duncan, and a guy who rushed five years ago who was simply known as Big Dog. The game was grueling, both teams were down to one cup. Then, tragedy struck; they rival fraternity made both balls into the last remaining cup. After the extremely outrageous and uncalled for celebrations ceased, it was time for Duncan and Big Dog to shoot. Duncan sunk the cup, and after yelling "OOOOOOOOOOO!" Turned to Big Dog. The tension could have cut with a knife as Big Dog released his shot. The ball rolled along the edge of the cup...and off.
Celebrations for the rival fraternity erupted all around, although many onlookers were so drunk they no longer remembered what team they were even supporting. After the crowd cleared out, only Big Dog and the mystical Pledgemaster remained.
"You have disappointed me, and all of yours brothers Big Dog" The Pledgemaster said. He continued, "You truly are a dog..." and used his magic powers to turn him into a coyote. (He actually meant to turn him into a dog but he also had been drinking heavily) "This actually works out for the better" said The Pledgemaster. He then picked up the beer pong ball and tossed it into the sky. "Howl at that bro!" So from now on when you hear a coyote howling on it is really Big Dog lamenting his poor beer pong skill.